Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Joke About Women's Revenge........?

%26quot;Cash, check or charge?%26quot; I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.


As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.


%26quot;So, do you always carry your TV remote?%26quot; I asked.


%26quot;No,%26quot; she replied, %26quot;but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.%26quot;


______________________________________...








UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN%26#039;S PERSPECTIVE)





I know I%26#039;m not going to understand women.


I%26#039;ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,


pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,


and still be afraid of a spider.





______________________________________...





MARRIAGE SEMINAR





While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,


Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,


%26quot;It is essential that husbands and wives know each other%26#039;s likes and dislikes.%26quot;


He addressedt he man, %26quot;Can you name your wife%26#039;s favorite flower?%26quot;


Tom leaned over, touched his wife%26#039;s arm gently and whispered,


%26quot;It%26#039;s Pillsbury, isn%26#039;t it?





______________________________________...





WIFE VS. HUSBAND





A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.


As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,


%26quot;Relatives of yours?%26quot;


%26quot;Yep,%26quot; the wife replied, %26quot;in-laws.%26quot;





______________________________________...





WORDS





A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.......


30,000 to a man%26#039;s 15,000.


The wife replied, %26quot;The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men......


The husband then turned to his wife and asked, %26quot;What?%26quot;





______________________________________...





CREATION





A man said to his wife one day,


%26quot;I don%26#039;t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.


%26quot;The wife responded, %26quot;Allow me to explain.


God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;


God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !





______________________________________...





WHO DOES WHAT





A man and his wife were having an argument about who


should brew the coffee each morning.


The wife said, %26quot;You should do it because you get up first, and then we don%26#039;t have to wait as long to get our coffee%26quot;.


The husband said, %26quot;You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.%26quot;


Wife replies, %26quot;No, you should do it, and besides,


it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.%26quot;


Husband replies, %26quot;I can%26#039;t believe that, show me.%26quot;


So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ......... %26quot;HEBREWS%26quot;





______________________________________...





The Silent Treatment





A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.


Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he


wrote on a piece of paper, %26quot;Please wake me at 5:00 AM .%26quot;


He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up,


only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.


Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn%26#039;t wakened him, when he noticed a


piece of paper by the bed.


The paper said, %26quot;It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.%26quot;


Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Joke About Women%26#039;s Revenge........?
Thanks for the giggle - my favorite is the one about coffee - liked the ones the were answered back to you - the pig one. Have a great day! Here%26#039;s a star for the giggles!
Reply:I liked the inlaws one.... That was good lol :)
Reply:These are great! Thank you!
Reply:These are awesome...i will have to send them to a friend....thanks
Reply:those are great,thanx for sharing!
Reply:Hahaha
Reply:lol.Have a star!That%26#039;s the best collection of jokes about revenge that I have heard.
Reply:hahahahahahhahahaha


hehehehehehehhe


omg lol


you get a star
Reply:lmao
Reply:hahahahahaha. The last one is sooooo true. hahaha
Reply:Very funny. Even being a guy I find this funny lol. But I think it depends on the situation who has the upperhand lol.





Either way, I try to behave so I don%26#039;t make my gf pissed :p
Reply:LOL .............THAT WAS FUNNY U GET A STAR FRM ME
Reply:The difference between men and women:


A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells: %26quot;PIG%26quot;!!


The man immediately leans out his window and replies with %26quot;B-----!%26quot;





They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he slams into a pig in the middle of the road.











WORDS WOMEN USE





FINE





this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and


you need to shut up.





FIVE MINUTES





If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.





NOTHING





This is the calm before the storm. This means %26quot;something,%26quot; and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with %26#039;Nothing%26#039; usually end in %26quot;Fine%26quot;





GO AHEAD





This is a dare, not permission. Don%26#039;t do it.





LOUD SIGH





This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A %26quot;Loud Sigh%26quot; means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you


over %26quot;Nothing%26quot;





THAT%26#039;S OKAY





This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a


man. %26quot;That%26#039;s Okay%26quot; means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.





THANKS





A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you%26#039;re welcome.





Oh, and before we forget ...





%26quot;Whatever%26quot;





...it%26#039;s a woman%26#039;s way of saying *!#@ YOU!
Reply:ahhaha the first and last ones especially
Reply:I loved it!! thanks for the laugh, Every story was funny and entertaining all the way down to the end!! three thumbs up. kudos to you.


P.S. You sure have a way with the ladies lol



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