Wednesday, April 15, 2009

When do I know my relationship has ended ? Argue frequently. No intermacy. I feel I'm unworthy.? Confused !

Lately I%26#039;ve been feeling down and out and some what confused.


I%26#039;m in a relationship of over 41/2 years, looking back it%26#039;s been 4 years of hard times.


I feel the end is nigh but I can%26#039;t make a break due to many reasons, am I kidding myself ?


Reason 1 - we purchased a house together 4 months ago, I%26#039;m in debt up to my eyeballs and not finacial enough to make an easy break.


Reason 2 - there are 2 children involved (not mine) - the mother left the father about 5 years ago - I don%26#039;t want them to loose me (the step dad).


Reason 3 - there is little intermacy from the lady involved - her idea of romance is cooking me dinner and doing my ironing, me on the other hand still tries by buying flowers unexpectantly, preparing a special dinner (as best i can), offering a massage or hot bath etc etc.


Reason 4 - sex follows a procedure now days, once it was spontanious and often, now it%26#039;s rehursed and once a week, maybe twice. I can%26#039;t remember the last time my partenr actually came on to me ??

When do I know my relationship has ended ? Argue frequently. No intermacy. I feel I%26#039;m unworthy.? Confused !
I tend to agree with No. 1. except I%26#039;m curious as to what four years of hard times means. If you%26#039;ve stayed in a relationship for four years unhappily, but continued - and bought a house together, after having such a difficult time, etc - knowing that would add stress .. well, that%26#039;s confusing.





Everyone settles into some sort of routine after the new wears off - with children, even more so - that%26#039;s normal. There are fellas out there that would think sex twice a week was manna from heaven! The new house and the financial burden that comes with it is also a stressful thing. The kids are probably in a new school district, making new friends, adjusting - it%26#039;s a transitional time for everyone.





Sit down and talk to your mate. If she%26#039;s cooking your supper and doing your ironing - taking care of two kids, she%26#039;s up to her eyeballs in chores n laundry, hon. She may feel EXACTLY the same way you do, it%26#039;s not all that easy being romantic or reading the minds of others when there are things that have to be done.





Set aside an afternoon or evening sometime soon for just the two of you - but plan it with her - don%26#039;t surprise her with it, she may be in between two loads of laundry and have to take the kids to soccer practice. A get away (you can take a country drive and have a picnic, it doesn%26#039;t have to be expensive!) might do you a world of good.
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Reply:I guess you need to have a deeper meaning of what your relationship is.
Reply:Oh man!!!!!! If everyone called it quits because of those reasons, there would not be any marriages now!! You need to work a little harder and tell her how you feel, she cannot read your mind!! I have been in a relationship longer than you two..... After a certain amount of time, same thing happens to everybody....... not just you!!!! I you really love her, then you both have to work on it..... the problem won%26#039;t solve itself and it sure as h*ll won%26#039;t go away!! My old man,Haha, and I have been together for only six years, but we don%26#039;t have those problems........ But my parents, mom and step dad . have been together for 40 years, and they are the best of friends, they love each other to death!!!! Sorry, I got a little carried away there, but love is love, and no, it is not !!! Huge difference there!!!!!! I am not a religouis person at all, but I will pray that you guys can figure it out!!!! Good Luck!!!!!!
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