Monday, April 13, 2009

What do you think about this poem? I wrote it to my ex just before she got out of the Army.....?

You%26#039;re probably still asleep at this time


I guess I%26#039;ll compose a brief rhyme


I%26#039;m standing by the Dfac


Waiting for dirty pans


Wishing I were with you


Holding your tiny hands


I see a little flower


On a funny looking tree


I think I%26#039;ll purchase one for you


As soon as I am free


What will I do when you are gone


Will someon take your place


Heck no. Just leave me a few pictures


Of your soft and pretty face

What do you think about this poem? I wrote it to my ex just before she got out of the Army.....?
UMM ITS CUTE BUT I DONT LIEK THE %26quot;WHAT WILL I DO WHEN YOU ARE GONE%26quot;..I DONT KNOW IT SOUNDS EERIE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU MEAN WHEN SHE%26#039;S AWAY..BUT BECAUSE OF THE ARMY AND YA KNOW..IT JUST SOUNDS EERIE TO ME..EVERYTHING ELSE IS CUTE
Reply:I like it, it sounds good, but it does need a little work. Don%26#039;t take my word for it, though.
Reply:It is pretty good but try a little harder on the ending
Reply:eeehhh....it sounds like you just writing a letter. sorry



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