Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Can a cheating wife ever be trusted again?

I found out my wife cheated on me. When I confronted her about it, I gave her no room to deny it, I asked %26quot;Who%26#039;s %26lt;guys name%26gt;?%26quot; When I turned and looked at her, she had a guilty/remorseful/oh crap look on her face. There was an argument when I told her 4 or 5 times to get out of my house (house I purchased prior to getting married to her) and out of frustration and feeling she didn%26#039;t deserve them, I broke a vase of flowers I gave her for her birthday, 2 days earlier. Her father calls and threatens me on voice mail. I call police and they come to house. I give my report and she and her parents show up and she tells police I threw the vase at her, and I get arrested and spend the night in jail. Now I have to hire an atty, and fight the false alligations, and I see an indirect blog of hers admitting to cheating and how sorry she is for everything. What should I do? Yea or ney?

Can a cheating wife ever be trusted again?
Honestly she can%26#039;t. You can%26#039;t trust a cheater!! Fool me once shame you you; fool me twice shame on me. Remember that.
Reply:that depends upon what you feel now, whether you want to try to work this out or not. The fact that she stated on a blog that she was sorry for everything and did not offer that excuse to you may mean that with counseling you can work through this and you may not need the attorney if she is willing to tell the judge that she said that but the abuse never happened.


You may find with counseling that perhaps she felt neglected for some reason you were not even aware of and that caused the cheating and it may never happen again or you will both be able to move on. If you do love her though try the counseling and try to get past this together rather than wondering some years later whether you should have tried it at least. Good Luck to you!
Reply:I would%26#039;ve said give her another chance if she proved she was horribly sorry. But putting the blame back on you and bringing others into it tell me %26quot;get away%26quot;.
Reply:I think you should hear her out and see what is her reason for cheating. I know your hurt but there is always a reason for everything. Just see if its worth working out before throwing in the boot. I hope your able to work it out because if you have kids its going to be at tough one. Goodluck:)
Reply:Once a cheater.... always a cheater...... I stand by it firmly!
Reply:Once trust is gone, you can never get it back...Listen - Even if you worked it out, and she said all the right things, your mind will be constantly racing...what is she doing, where is she at, who is she with, who is she talking to...you cant turn a ho into a housewife my friend...if there is no trust everything else is pointless...sorry-


As far as the vase..where is the proof? Its he said she said...
Reply:Unfortunately more and more men experience things like this because laws protect women and not men. Today%26#039;s women get what they want and pick and choose. Women are smarter and more powerful in today%26#039;s society. Men pay the price - sorry to say for women surpassing them. The only thing women deal with in this situation is guilt. Although, I%26#039;m not proud, I know this because I cheated and am financially better off. I have to deal with guilt...
Reply:the only person you can change is you..... you can dump your wife trade up, down, sideways whatever but it wont make one sh!t of difference until you clear out your own closet first, It doesnot begin with you and your wife it begins with you.


Take back your power and decide today to become a person who commands (not demands) quality, inspires respect and settles for nothing less than an active abiding love, the change can only come from inside as you become clear about who you are, what you do with your love, your life and vision. Clarity and purpose must become crystal clear, the fix, the rescue or the letting go depends on you. I dont agree entirely with the nay-sayers there is 2 sides to every story it depends on you.


Yep she made a mistake and she was wrong for going outside the marriage for comfort however one must take responsiblity for what was happening inside the marriage too, in the cold light of day was it all that??


If you want to make it right, make it right with yourself first.
Reply:no. ignore her, she cant love you or be sorry if she made you spend the night in jail. what a bi*ch. She is the one who has done wrong
Reply:NO!!!!!!! What is she 10 or something having to get her parents involved? She lied %26amp; got u arrested.STAY AWAY!!!


Thats just my opnion!!


GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:Prove the infidelity in court and dump her.
Reply:well for 1) she cheated on you 2) she let her parents accuse you for throwing the vase at her when she knew it was false.
Reply:well first off if shes not even dropping charges against you then I think that says it all...
Reply:Sounds like it%26#039;s over.
Reply:You deserve better


after an argument like that when sshe LIES to the police?


the police get involved??


not good


maybe marage counceling if you want to rectafy the situation


she has no right to be angry


its YOU who should be mad at her


SHE should be the one trying to patch things up as SHE was unfaithfull


but then again we only know your side!


Are you violant?


has there been problems in the past similar?


have u cheated?
Reply:once a cheater always a cheater! move on bro! shes not worth the head ace
Reply:If her feelings expressed in her blog are true and you believe that they are true, ........ and you still love her ......... may be you should excuse her...





Throw her father into the bin. A relationship between two people involves only those two and they are the only ones to decide ... anything about that..





Be open, talk your heart out, dont let others run your lives and your relationships ....... make her even aware of this if you can ...





After all we are human...


Committing mistakes is one ...


Learning from those mistakes needs greater skill and ability...





I think you know you love her.... otherwise you would not worry so much about her feeling guilty about what she had done





God Bless you both a wonderful life (together ofcourse)
Reply:wow thats alot to take in. i think you should now give up on her. yes she may be sorry but why did she not back you up in first place and lie about throwing a vase at her. why did she have her family call you?


anyway, if you go back with her things are going to be wierd, you are not going to be welcome at her parents house anymore, you will no longer trust her and question her every move. it is no healthy and i think you should move on and let her have that other guy, thats what she wants let her have it! you desever better, good luck.
Reply:no, once is a cheater is a cheater.she is going to continue doing this to you because you do not put a stop to it. you should find someone who will not cheat on you , and respect you in fullest.
Reply:Throw the ***** out. Don%26#039;t waste any time either. Then get out and find yourself a woman and make sure your wife knows about it.
Reply:cut her off
Reply:Two choices:


1) You really love her... and she loves you - she must agree to move with you hundreds of miles from her parents... and get counseling. I believe you can trust her again - if you want to - and it is alot of work. But it is up to her to treat you like a king, and be totally open and honest in everything she does.


2) If there%26#039;s no love, then it%26#039;s over. Protect your assets. Depending on how long you%26#039;ve been married and the state you live in - she may be entitled to half of your assets. See if your atty can give ideas to keep the house, etc.





Good Luck.
Reply:She can be trusted . Get out . Plus , her dad hates you now . So youll always have him breathing down your throat . Just get out , shes a whore . sorry dude . but seriously , what would she do if you cheated .
Reply:Talk about adding insult to injury. Let it be over. If she were remorseful, she would have understood you being upset enough to break a vase. She didn%26#039;t deserve it. You paid for it, you could have done what ever you saw fit with it (except of course hitting her with it). Had you not confronted her with this, she would have continued cheating on you. The only thing she%26#039;s sorry for is getting caught. Cheating is cheating man or woman. I see cheating as a gamble. Every gambler knows there is a chance you are going to lose, yet they put it all on the line anyway. If you truly want to keep what you have you don%26#039;t gamble at all. I know this has to be extremely painful for you. It%26#039;s a very good thing you purchased your home prior to marriage. She doesn%26#039;t deserve a dime or anything gained from your hard work and commitment. Get through your legal matters and start fresh. Life is too short. Make yourself the number one focus as you start fresh. I wish you the very best of luck. Again. I know this has to be painful. But, I%26#039;ve heard this saying from some really good hearted people, %26quot;This to, shall pass%26quot;.
Reply:NO!!!
Reply:Ney. You%26#039;ve already shown what you%26#039;re made of by throwing a hissy fit. If you guys stay together after this episode, it%26#039;ll be at your own risk. She%26#039;s tasted the fruit of another. Things will never be quite the same again.
Reply:you have to be a fool to take her back after her parents have you arrested.


she can force the sale of the house because she is entitled to the appreciated value of the house from the day she moved in as your wife. if she can prove she put $$$ into the maintenance and upkeep of the house, she gets MORE...





tell her to drop the charges or you can play legal games with her and have her evaluated for mental problems... drug use and a host of other good stuff
Reply:So long to %26#039;er.
Reply:yes because she learned what the conceipt of doing that really causes
Reply:All proof you have take to court with you tell the lawyer everything you know. Don%26#039;t forgive her calling the cops and pressing charges.. Divorce her.
Reply:That is really up to you, if you can ever forgive her infidelity. But right now you still sound very angry (understandable).





You both need to cool off, have time away from each other and when you are both ready, to get some counseling (if you wish to continue with the marriage), to find out why your wife felt that she had to do what she did.





Until she acknowleges where she went wrong, understands this and promises never to do it again, there can be no trust.



beauty

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